*WARNING: The following is not intended for children.*
A Black Widow's Fear
One night Mother Webber tucked her little kiddies into bed.
"Please tell us a spooky story," they’d pled.
Oh darlings, not just before bed.
How 'bout I tell you about your daddy instead?
"Oh yes - we love that story," they all said.
With the exception of Junior, who frantically nodded his head.
Well all right. As you know; it was the night that we had wed.
Your daddy had gone out to pick up some bread.
Being customary for a groom to keep his wife well fed.
The next morning is when your daddy was found - DEAD!
Mysteriously caught in our web without any bread the detective had said.
Now Mommy’s a widow ::sigh:: mourning forever with eyes eternally red.
You'll all inherit the family curse just as soon as you've bred.
But your poor little brother won’t be so lucky I dread.
Sure he’ll roll in the hay, but he won’t make it past his wedding day.
Poor Junior couldn’t sleep a wink that night; horrified at what his mommy had to say.
"I refuse to be a victim of foul play!"
"I’ll never take a bride - no way!"
"Let some other sucker be a female’s prey!"
After much thought, he concluded his only option was to turn gay.
So he stayed up all night practicing his sashay.